Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

So I am "packing" to go back to Saint Louis.I really hate packing and I have been taking "breaks" all day long. So I have had quite a few things on my mind, especially since I am about to leave home. I had a WONDERFUL winter break! I got to spend a lot of time with family and friends. I went to a great concert, DC, New York, and just basically relaxed. It was completely opposite from last semester. I think I am going to try and incorporate more "fun" activities into Spring semester because I truly was miserable fall semester.

Anyways...what has been on my mind on and off this break is the idea of memories... So in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (which I really loved), "Clementine" undergoes a procedure in which all of the memories of her last relationship was removed...and the rest of the movie has to do with what her ex-boyfriend "Joel" decides to do...I go through all of that to say, that I have been wondering if I had the opportunity to erase all of the memories from my last on/off relationship..would I? Honestly I think I would...the weird part is that I am usually ok with most things that happen because I justify it by saying that "everything happens for a reason" or that I somehow gained and learned something from the situation. But honestly I am having a difficult time making sense of it all.

When I look back on all of the on and off mess...I think the only thing that I took from the situation is if things aren't working out in the first few weeks...just move on..It's not going to get any better. You are going to get attached and have this false sense of hope for something that was doomed from the beginning...

A bad beginning makes for a bad ending.

I usually believe that, but I don't know why in this situation, I thought it would turn out any different. I think I am just annoyed by all of the stupid things that he continues to do, while inadvertently (yeah right..) putting my business on front street. It's frustrating and I wish anything dealing with me, he would just be smart and have an ounce of self respect and not do it. I know I'm not a celebrity, but I really like to keep my "personal life" a private manner.

Sorry for the vague post, but I just needed to write that..It's 1:30 and I have way too much to do..Aaah Until Next Time...